I look back. I try to live without regret. I try to be a good person. But, I wan'st. I'm not. I'm not a good friend. I have been a shitty friend. I was a terrible person. And I don't really deserve to have friends. I'm not good enough. I always cling to "I'll be better" or "One day I'll be good enough." But I wasn't good enough then. And I'm not good enough now. And I don't know how to fix this. I don't know what it is I need to do, and I don't know if its worth it. That's the really terrible thing. I've been hurt so badly, and so has he. I need to change. I need to change. Why aren't I just good enough? Why don't I do the right thing? Will I ever be a good enough person. I don't think I am. I don't think I will be. I've messed up. And I don't think I can fix it.
