Today

There was a point in my life, where I was sure I would die. Granted, this is very true; I will die. As will everyone else. But it felt immediate. I was in no danger. I would just wake up and it felt like I was going to die, sometime soon. Maybe even that day. It was terrifying. I didn't want to die. Not now. Yes, I had no friends. Yes, I didn't like school. Yes, I was constantly sick and generally didn't enjoy anything. But that stopped mattering. I wanted to live. Then after a few weeks, the feeling left.
I now have friends. I'm now starting college. My health is relatively good and I enjoy plenty of things in life. But maybe I'm slipping again. Maybe why I was dying was because I wasn't living. And now, maybe its time to commit fully. To become more. To apply every inch of me to that full spin of life in the air around me and become.
My little sister is an amazing artist. She can't draw from real life too well, but she can draw. She is good. She practices. I want to Practice Drawing. My friend is a history buff. He can remember everything in history and make wonderful connections from it and make it all make sense. I want to read a good history book and understand it and remember some of it. Another friend is excellent at remembering things. He listens very well to every little detail, in order to remember. I want to engage myself in listening. I want to become.
Tomorrow, I will:
1) Do 10 push ups.
2) Draw for half an hour.
3) Read a history something, and make connections.
4) Listen to a mundane conversation with interest.
5) I will begin to live again.

Don't die and take care.
~Kay