Sick

I have only been to the hospital once this year. Now I have to go see a doctor, they say I am getting worse. I have to get medication. I have to get help. I just want a friend. I wonder what I did, what I'm doing to make myself so alone. I'm glad some people care about me, even if they are bad at showing it. I fear all the things one fears when a dusty mind breaks.  I feel so very alone still. I look for little bits of you in everything I see. I feel very alone.