Identity

There's a theory of identity, that states you are more closely related to those who are dear to you now that you are to you in 30+ years or so. I mean, look at 10 year old you. Do you really get them? Do you relate to them, and think the same way as them, and worry about the same things you did then? Now how about your friends? Which is closer?

Some nights, I just hurt. I just sit and listen to music that we liked. And I cry some. Turns out you were a big part of me. And you killed that piece of me. I have to make a new person now, all by my self.

No one ever asked why I loved you. They though you were an ass. They never asked why I would date someone like you. You were kind. You cared about me. You never gave me a single reason to be afraid. You never hurt me. Justin, my dear, were the best human I ever met. I love you.

I will never see you again.
I will never talk to you again.
I won't hold you again.
But a bit of you is still here. In me. Its all thats left.

And if I could, things would be different. But I can't. So it isn't.
I love you. We never said goodbye.
So I'm saying goodbye to who I was. Because that person died with you.  And if I killed myself today, I wouldn't be getting any of that person back. I wouldn't be getting anyone back.
I'll never have you back, my dear.
Goodbye.

I miss you.