Things I'd say to people if they were around for me to say them to.

This is no specific order. This is also not passive aggressive stuff, as that there is no way for me to talk to virtually all of these people, or these are things that I have already told them previously, and I just can't get them off my mind.
1 : I want you to be happy. I want you to like yourself. I want you to realize how much you have. I wish you could tell me to my face that you're disappointed in me. I really hope that you have a wonderful life. I'm sorry that you had to watch me grow into a different person. I'm glad I did, but I know you hated me a little for it.
2: You are the reason that I love comedy. You are the reason I knew good people exist. You are the reason I do my best to never give up on the good things in life. You are still my inspiration. I want you to be happy, and if I ever have the universe owe me a favor, I'm making Jim Carry spend a week with you.
3: I always wonder what type of person I would be if I had never met you. You screwed over so much of my life. I wasted over four years on you. A part of me knows that you didn't die that night, you didn't ever die, but thanks to you I will always know that, at least for that night, I would rather be a murderer than let myself suffer. You are the person that made me realize what it is to hate someone, to become bitter, to become engulfed with indignation. But you also made me stand up for myself. You forced me to put myself first. Even if that meant crushing someone else. I don't think I'll ever forgive you. But I did grow. If I ever met you again, I would probably punch you a few times. And kick you in the balls until you would never be able to reproduce.
4: When I first met you, I wanted to date you. Its been about five years or so, and I still feel this way. I realize this is a problem, and I also realize this will probably never be fixed. I also want you to be happy. You deserve it.
5: I really want to see you in a few years. You are one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Please stay cool and change the world like you said you would. I'm sure that you really made a difference for those kids that you helped build a house for. I want you to learn how to rule a country, because you said you wanted to, and you would make a great president.
6: You were my first best friend. I'm sure you would think me to be a detestable human being, but that's why I was proud to be your friend. You are have to most moral backbone out of virtually all the people I have ever met.
7: You are the most existential person I have ever met. You remind me that great people exist. If I ever wanted to be like someone else, I would want to be like you. I'm sorry I'm a disappointment, but I thank you so much for everything you've told me. All the encouragement, all the honesty, all the openness. You are quite probably the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I'm glad you enjoy your life so much. I have no doubt that you will be famous within a few years.
8: Thank you for all the direction. You helped me to become as good as I am, and helped me stay passionate.
9: Sitting on your roof was one of the coolest moments of my entire life. Your determination and work ethic amaze me; you will one day be the head of Disney, and you will deserve it.
10: I know that you just used me, but I'm glad I got to be your friend. I know you know that I liked you, as that I have never made more of a fool out of myself. I hope you go far.

Things I like:

Improv.
Drawing things.
Painting things.
Designing clothes.
Designing everything else.
Watching good movies.
Talking to smart people about smart things.
Listening to people about their lives.
Snogging. Doesn't happen a lot anymore, but snogging is nice.
Sourdough bread.
Smoothies .
Cities. Real ones. Over 60,000 population ones.
Sushi. Who needs drugs, alcohol, sex, or any other universal high-instigators when you can have sushi?
Cool friends. Ones who don't have a thing for me. Like if I flirted with them, they'd be weirded out, and know that it was only for kicks.
People who do improv with me, and aren't creepy about it.
People that like me.
Water.
Juice.
Ice Cream.
To save much space : FOOD.
Good books.
Being able to talk about good books.
Thus, people who read a lot.
Walks.
Sub-tropic areas.
Working at a place where I can make something. (Nothing against you, janitor job, but there are much better things out there.)
Living away from ones parents.
Having ample amounts of extra money.
Owning lots and lots of art.
Having goals.
Having things.
Being moderately busy.
Seeing different people.
Getting to go on adventures.

Dear God I'm lonely. I'm tired, and I wish I was good at making friends. I'm so weird, I don't mind, but it seems other people do. And its not like I usually care what other people think, hell, at this point, I've even stop caring what OTC things about me.. but dear God is it lonely here. I can't blame anyone but myself, if being with people was more important than other things, I'd have a boy/girlfriend, plenty of people to talk to, and a constant social life. But that's not what I want. I want two or three people who are smart, well-balanced, and ambitious. People who see the world in a better way.  I'm around a philosophy major rather often, and he just doesn't get the world. Not at all. Some days its fine, but other days its so dull. So dry. I have a passion for learning, but also for doing. I can't stand that I'm not in theater. Granted, I would never join this department, but I'm so starved. I while ago, I made a decision to move to LA, and start taking improv classes. Stop going to school for at least a year, and go off and be a human. But I couldn't do it. I made up reasons why I should go. I'm such a coward. I'm too weak. I limit myself and I hate myself for it. "Commit fully. Its the hardest easy thing you'll ever do." I couldn't agree with you more Nate. I wonder if you're disappointed in me. I am.

Purple

Still a coward.

They say if there is a will there's a way. I don't have that. Not enough. I'm not enough. Maybe that's why I'm still alive. Because I was too scared. I was too scared to die, but I"m still too scared to live. Too scared to run away, too scared to stay. I don't connect to people because I'm afraid. I fight between feeling and suppressing because I don't know if I want to be a real person. Its safe to be a robot. I've always wondered what was wrong with me. I've never been to a doctor about it. But I've always wondered. When I don't see people often, I can just stop feeling, if I want. Not forever, if it goes on for more than a few months that I don't have control over it anymore. But for a day, I can just stop feeling. In philosophic debate, most of the time, for the sake of discussion, you define humans as rational animals. That's it. Later, you go into having a conscience, but it almost never includes emotions. Only sometimes. I'm too scared to live. I'm not sure what I am. Or who I am. I'm really quite bright. But because of that, I'm not very happy.
"You think too much."
I'm sorry.

A bad morning.

Alarm didn't go off, late for work. Out the door, note that my car has been looted. All cool and valuable stuff gone. Boss is mad and calls. Bad morning, but good day.

I have a really good friend.

He is also respectable, funny, and a good person.

Alone for a while.

I've been doing improv by myself for a while, and it feels very wrong. There is something depressing to it. The same sort of sentiment exists for someone who drinks alone. Happy or sad, it doesn't seem to matter. Out in the middle of no where, in some field, walking around all by yourself. After a while you switch back and forth and do silly things, and once in a while you say something as loud as you can, and no one hears you. You should be feeling happy, or at least, you shouldn't be thinking how this isn't right, that someone should be there, but you do. You do, and even if it wasn't the case at all before, you feel sad. If you've been drinking, I'm not sure what you do at that point, but if its improv, the scene stops, and you sit down, and you cry.

If you can't beat it....

The days are just packed.

Even if I'm busy and work all day, I still love summer.

Drifting away.

I am getting to the point where I am now avoiding social interaction. I write, I read, I exercise and draw all by myself. I even did an improv scene by myself today. I'm going out of my way to find places people never go, and then giving myself excuses to go there. It isn't that I dislike all my friends, or that I find them to be a headache, I just like being by myself. Some of them have problems, that they don't want to talk about, others are mad at things, but they don't want to talk about it, and some of them just don't like being around me, and are only there because someone else dragged them there. And then there are some that I just haven't seen in a while. There is something very liberating about just being with yourself. I had a conversation out loud with a bird on the side of the trail and it was fine. I walked barefoot on hot hot sand and it felt great. I like the company of myself. Its nice.

I never grew up.

When I moved to the second house in California, I was sitting on the lawn and some kid went by on his skateboard. He stopped and looked at me.
"Want to be friends?"
"Sure."
And that is how I got my first best friend. Later, I found out he was good at skateboarding and I was good at roller-blading. We both loved soccer and running and asking questions and both of us were religious. We played card games and video games, but that wasn't what kept us as friends. It was that we both thought that the world wasn't nearly magic enough. And that putting some in it was the best idea ever. I don't remember hardly anything specific, except that I was often a wizard fighter, and so was he. Sometimes we were no one special, but the world was. Some days we were hiding from dinosaurs, other days venturing to the tops of the highest mountains to find the gem that would give us ultimate power. We sword fought too. There were always rules so no one would get hurt too badly, so it was always fun, always worth the bruises and scratches. We never talked to each other at school; you had other friends, and I was really weird. I didn't even have a single friend and I wore black all the time. But that didn't really bother me. As long as we could keep the world magical and interesting I was ohkay that you didn't want to be seen with me. But I remember that slowly, you didn't want to anymore. They slowly turned into games, and I took them far too seriously. Eventually, we were just too old to play make believe anymore, and so you didn't want to hang out with me. And by then I had found anime, and had made friends for the first time in a long time, so even though I was sad, I was ohkay. That's what I told myself.
That was when I was ten. Now I'm almost twenty. And more than anything, I still want to play make believe.  Granted, I call it "improvisation" now, and I do it in front of large groups of people who may even one day consider to pay me. But that's what I want. I want to make people happy, and I want to do improv. I feel like that if you saw me now, you would still be disappointed in me.  I've become a disappointment to almost everyone I know, in one way or the other. But, just like back then, I try to do things that I won't regret. And I think I like that more. I like doing things that I feel are right. Things that I think are best. Try everything as many times as I need to, and ask every question that needs to be asked. Maybe I'm a bad person. I'm not really what someone would call a good friend, at least, I do a really good job of sabotaging myself from getting such a title . But I am curious. And I am adventurous. But most importantly, I still see the magic in things.
Today I went out to exercise. I did some jogging, some running, but mostly, I punched through the Horde, performed silly walks for the committee, tried to catch some flying smoothie snatchers, and caught a breath as I watched my imaginary friend wave over a dragon and fly away for a while. 
I never grew up, and even if I'm too scared to tell anyone, I'll be ohkay. That's what I tell myself.