I never grew up.

When I moved to the second house in California, I was sitting on the lawn and some kid went by on his skateboard. He stopped and looked at me.
"Want to be friends?"
"Sure."
And that is how I got my first best friend. Later, I found out he was good at skateboarding and I was good at roller-blading. We both loved soccer and running and asking questions and both of us were religious. We played card games and video games, but that wasn't what kept us as friends. It was that we both thought that the world wasn't nearly magic enough. And that putting some in it was the best idea ever. I don't remember hardly anything specific, except that I was often a wizard fighter, and so was he. Sometimes we were no one special, but the world was. Some days we were hiding from dinosaurs, other days venturing to the tops of the highest mountains to find the gem that would give us ultimate power. We sword fought too. There were always rules so no one would get hurt too badly, so it was always fun, always worth the bruises and scratches. We never talked to each other at school; you had other friends, and I was really weird. I didn't even have a single friend and I wore black all the time. But that didn't really bother me. As long as we could keep the world magical and interesting I was ohkay that you didn't want to be seen with me. But I remember that slowly, you didn't want to anymore. They slowly turned into games, and I took them far too seriously. Eventually, we were just too old to play make believe anymore, and so you didn't want to hang out with me. And by then I had found anime, and had made friends for the first time in a long time, so even though I was sad, I was ohkay. That's what I told myself.
That was when I was ten. Now I'm almost twenty. And more than anything, I still want to play make believe.  Granted, I call it "improvisation" now, and I do it in front of large groups of people who may even one day consider to pay me. But that's what I want. I want to make people happy, and I want to do improv. I feel like that if you saw me now, you would still be disappointed in me.  I've become a disappointment to almost everyone I know, in one way or the other. But, just like back then, I try to do things that I won't regret. And I think I like that more. I like doing things that I feel are right. Things that I think are best. Try everything as many times as I need to, and ask every question that needs to be asked. Maybe I'm a bad person. I'm not really what someone would call a good friend, at least, I do a really good job of sabotaging myself from getting such a title . But I am curious. And I am adventurous. But most importantly, I still see the magic in things.
Today I went out to exercise. I did some jogging, some running, but mostly, I punched through the Horde, performed silly walks for the committee, tried to catch some flying smoothie snatchers, and caught a breath as I watched my imaginary friend wave over a dragon and fly away for a while. 
I never grew up, and even if I'm too scared to tell anyone, I'll be ohkay. That's what I tell myself.