Sunday, June 24, 2012

Things I like:

Improv.
Drawing things.
Painting things.
Designing clothes.
Designing everything else.
Watching good movies.
Talking to smart people about smart things.
Listening to people about their lives.
Snogging. Doesn't happen a lot anymore, but snogging is nice.
Sourdough bread.
Smoothies .
Cities. Real ones. Over 60,000 population ones.
Sushi. Who needs drugs, alcohol, sex, or any other universal high-instigators when you can have sushi?
Cool friends. Ones who don't have a thing for me. Like if I flirted with them, they'd be weirded out, and know that it was only for kicks.
People who do improv with me, and aren't creepy about it.
People that like me.
Water.
Juice.
Ice Cream.
To save much space : FOOD.
Good books.
Being able to talk about good books.
Thus, people who read a lot.
Walks.
Sub-tropic areas.
Working at a place where I can make something. (Nothing against you, janitor job, but there are much better things out there.)
Living away from ones parents.
Having ample amounts of extra money.
Owning lots and lots of art.
Having goals.
Having things.
Being moderately busy.
Seeing different people.
Getting to go on adventures.

Dear God I'm lonely. I'm tired, and I wish I was good at making friends. I'm so weird, I don't mind, but it seems other people do. And its not like I usually care what other people think, hell, at this point, I've even stop caring what OTC things about me.. but dear God is it lonely here. I can't blame anyone but myself, if being with people was more important than other things, I'd have a boy/girlfriend, plenty of people to talk to, and a constant social life. But that's not what I want. I want two or three people who are smart, well-balanced, and ambitious. People who see the world in a better way.  I'm around a philosophy major rather often, and he just doesn't get the world. Not at all. Some days its fine, but other days its so dull. So dry. I have a passion for learning, but also for doing. I can't stand that I'm not in theater. Granted, I would never join this department, but I'm so starved. I while ago, I made a decision to move to LA, and start taking improv classes. Stop going to school for at least a year, and go off and be a human. But I couldn't do it. I made up reasons why I should go. I'm such a coward. I'm too weak. I limit myself and I hate myself for it. "Commit fully. Its the hardest easy thing you'll ever do." I couldn't agree with you more Nate. I wonder if you're disappointed in me. I am.

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